The holidays are upon us and in the coming days there will be those of us who will take to the skies to either ignore Christmas altogether, or enjoy their Yuletide festivities in another country. Once through customs, the first person one is likely to encounter will be a taxi driver and that initial experience could be a world away from anything you’ve experienced at home. To prepare for the unexpected, here is a list of some potential follies that one might encounter. Mexico City Once upon a time swarms of green and white VW Beetles roamed the streets of Mexico City but since the closure of the last plant in Puebla some years ago, the “people’s car” is being fast replaced with Nissans and Toyotas. More than 90,000 taxis, licensed or otherwise, patrol every corner of the vast city, generating nearly a million rides daily. During peak traffic hours two lane highways become three and exchanges of insults ensue. Yet even then in the packed traffic, the often frayed seat belts on unlicensed taxis provide no security from ‘Express Kidnappings’. Driver and/or accomplices will accompany the victim on a bowel loosening mystery tour to an ATM, but the frequency of these occurrences on tourists are often exaggerated. Taxis with “L” (Libre) on their registration are the cheapest and should be avoided. “S” is for site taxis, safer, licensed, but 2-3 times the rate of “L” taxis. If you are still hesitant consider “radio taxis,” which can be called from most restaurants and hotels; however, expect rates 5-10 times higher. Tokyo Taking a taxi in Tokyo is no exception to the endless possibilities for embarrassment a westerner can experience on their first trip to Japan. To confuse things, an available taxi will show a red light and an occupied taxi a green light. Once you’ve flagged one down you then pull on the door handle like a crazed animal only to let go in frustration before it opens automatically. Once in, you slip around on the polythene seat covers, trying to grip on to anything, even the lace headrests. Thankfully drivers operate calmly and with the utmost professionalism and politeness, wearing white gloves and offering a complimentary refreshing towel, or candy. Some will offer weather reports, sports scores and all sorts of other information (if you can find one that speaks English). Stockholm Oh, if all cab riding could be as easy and effective as traveling with Stockholm’s two major taxi firms. Taxi Stockholm and Taxi Kurur use immaculate black Volvo 960s, equipped with GPS systems that track the cars’ movements from HQ and even tabulate your estimated arrival time. With a fleet of 1600 cars each at their disposal, there is no need to bring down your newly discovered Scandinavian design aesthetic with a trip in some old wagon. However, Sweden’s taxi drivers rank at the top of world taxi driver suicides, so bring a book for a long journey to avoid any Nordic tales of doom. Amsterdam No wonder Amsterdam taxi drivers don’t smile much. It can’t be easy ferrying comatose tourists around a city full of little bridges and narrow canal roads, where traffic jams are caused by herds of bicycles. Amsterdam taxis are among the most expensive in Europe and locals only use them when public transport is on strike (about twice a year). Most taxi drivers are obliged to install a condom vending machine and some may even try to entice you to clubs with an offer of beer and ‘luvely ladiesh”. The owners of these establishments give the drivers a percentage for their trouble. Other drivers will proudly show you their ‘moral conduct certificate,’ proving that they have a clear conscience even when it comes to over-charging you. Beijing With the 2008 Olympics in Beijing came the much-needed standardization of the city’s taxi service in order to eradicate an image of beaten dirty cabs driven by rascals.  The government rolled out 20,000 blue and yellow Hyundai Sonatas taxis which have been plying their trade ever since. Drivers now have to pass an English language course as part of their registration process. Still there are thousands of old time taxis around that offer no comforts or English translation, only seat belts that leave a dirty diagonal stripe across your torso. However, all drivers are obliged, by law, to beep when overtaking, so expect your driver to tap on that horn like its a musical instrument. Beijing taxis come in three sizes and prices are marked on the rear of the cars. London The traditional London cab’s unique shape was designed to accommodate bowler hats. Today these diesel run ‘black cabs’ still number 23,000 in Greater London. Drivers must pass “The Knowledge Test,” for which they must memorize over 3,000 different routes. The result is that most drivers think they are knights of the road and consider it their duty to take you from A to B via their opinions on X, Y and Z. An alternative is unmarked minicabs, and despite their name, they offer space for as many passengers that can squeeze into a Honda. Occasionally, though, you’ll get a real wrongen of a driver and end up on a tour of parts of London you’ve never been before with two drunk girls passed out in the back seat that you’ve never met. Moscow Stand at the side of the street, extend your right arm at a 45-degree angle with your palm out flat and, within seconds, one or more cars will stop in front of you. Then, just tell them where you’re going and how much you’ll pay ($4 to $6 for up to a 30 minute ride). Of course, most of the cars that will pick you up aren’t taxis at all, just guys driving around, trying to make an extra ruble. An estimated R500 million a year ends up in the pockets of these alternative operators, since there is only one licensed taxi for every 2,500 people in Moscow. But you may feel safer in an official yellow Volga taxi than a beaten up Lada or for that matter, even a Mercedes with blacked out windows. Mumbai Like the rest of India, taxicabs are a frequent contradiction. The black and yellow cabs as well as the blue and grey ones are supposed to offer air conditioning, but rarely do. When you remind the driver to turn the meter it makes no difference because the display is outdated and must be multiplied by 13.75. Not easy to do with heat stroke and the onset of dysentery. By contrast, Japanese taxi firms “throw away” their vehicles every 3-4 years, while in Mumbai, taxis (Fiat Padminis) even new, often reflect the conditions of the road and the numerous accidents they are involved in. New York Hailing a cab in NYC can be as simple as stepping off the curb and holding out your arm. It only gets complicated when you need to figure out how to make them stop. There are 11,787 medallion cabs in Manhattan and 90% of new applicants come from the India, Africa, the Middle East and republics of the former USSR. Forty thousand of these lone rangers hustle for business every day and are required by law to take you to any address in Manhattan whether they know where it is on not. They also have the right to mutter under their breath in a language of their own choosing. Paris There are over 470 taxi ranks in Paris, full of complaining drivers shrugging their shoulders. Many drivers do not speak English (or choose not to) and some don’t even speak French. The Parisien taxi may be one of the cheapest taxis among the European capitals, but if you are ordering a taxi between 18h-21h, don’t be surprised to find 3-5 Euros already on the meter. A display on the back shelf of taxis indicates how many hours and minutes that particular driver has been on duty that day, a good indicator of his/her grumpiness. The city’s 15,000 taxis cabs are identified by a neon “Taxi Parisien” sign on top. Or you can just look out for the vehicles that go around the Arc de Triomphe on two wheels. Prague Drivers in the Czech capital have a bad reputation. In the centre, distances and traffic mean you might as well walk, but a taxi driver will show you the suburbs if you have no sense of direction. The two main companies “AAA Taxi” or “ProfiTaxi” (very apt) charge about 17 kc per km, but this varies depending the hour, how many people are riding, and the mood of the driver. Useful expression: “Hele! Pojdte spatky! Tady neni kde chtel jit!” “Hey! Come back! This isn’t where I wanted to go!” Rome The taxi drivers in the Eternal City are just like any other Italian drivers only more so. Look out for white and yellow chariots complete with dents, which burn rubber around fountains and roundabouts whilst raising hand gestures at fellow drivers. “Radio Taxi 3570” is the most important cab organization in Italy and the biggest in Europe. With over 2,700 taxis they serve 25,000 customers every day. Drivers are licensed and charge by the city-regulated rate. As if Rome’s rush hour doesn’t resemble a scene from Ben Hur already, there is a two-wheeled taxi service called “Motorbeep” which runs roughly 1,200 motorbikes taxis. Singapore In many cities taxi drivers treat the speed limit as a joke, but in Singapore taxicabs come with alarms that beep over a certain speed limit. They also come equipped with GPS satellite navigation systems and an instant messenger that talks and flashes to the driver. All this seems to do is annoy an already sleep deprived work force of men between the ages of 40-70, who survive by knocking back small bottles of energizing liquid stashed under their drivers seats. Taxis are the lifeblood of Singapore in a city that stretches for 626km square kilometres and their 18,000 taxis cover every corner, although roads and streets outside the mainstream spaghetti system are sometimes referred to as “ulu ulu” meaning “faraway and confusing”. Tell us about some of the unique taxi experiences you’ve had outside of Toronto.