April 24, 2014
April 14, 2014
Movers and Starters: Neven Zeremski of Dubb
April 8, 2014
Pop-up Startup
April 1, 2014
Movers and Starters: Mallorie Brodie and Lauren Hasegawa of Bridgit
December 16, 2013
Movers and Starters: Chris Gory
December 11, 2013
Canada Post Says Goodbye to Door-To-Door Delivery in Urban Areas
Michael Ignatieff's Predictions
Satire: Turns out the former Liberal leader fancies himself some kind of crystal ball reader or something

Michael Ignatieff enjoys his tiny drink. Credit: Flickr

This week, Michael Ignatieff made headlines after telling a BBC Scotland documentary that due to its increasing isolation from the rest of the country, Quebec would renew its drive for independence from Canada if Scotland were to go ahead with its own separation. After doing some digging, the sleuths here at Toronto Standard discovered that this isn’t the first bold prediction the former Liberal Party of Canada leader has made recently. Here are some of Ignatieff’s more realistic prognostications:

  • Every time I open my front door, my cat tries to escape and run out into the yard. The logic eventually is full independence.
  • The Cola wars — a war I supported at its outset, something I regret — will soon come to be dominated by Crystal Pepsi. Fact.
  • Kim Kardashian and Kanye West seem like they are going to last forever. With Kanye’s great passion and Kim’s common sense, I can’t see any circumstances where these two break up any time soon.
  • I don’t think Facebook’s Timeline is here to stay. All I’m hearing is complaints. They’ll change it back to the old layout, I’m sure of it.
  • Not going to say how, but watch for Israel and Palestine to patch things up real soon. In these situations, logic always prevails.
  • I can’t think of Saturday Night Live without Jason Sudeikis, but if he leaves that show, watch as supporting characters from across the TV line-up follow his lead and strike out on their own.
  • Next season for the Toronto Maple Leafs… this is the year
  • Based on this poll of first graders, about 90% of our future workforce will be made up of astronauts because people always get whatever they say they want.
  • The sequel to Disney’s John Carter is going to be a smash hit.
  • No candidate will ever topple Stephen Harper because he is perfectly aligned with the values of Canadians. It’s not like people vote with their gut based on candidates’ personalities.


Michael Kolberg is a writer/comedian who writes for Toronto Standard. Follow him on Twitter at @mikeykolberg

For more, follow us on Twitter at @torontostandard and subscribe to our Newsletter.

By Igor Bonifacic
April 17th, 2014
Industry Movers and Starters: Ian Carnevale of Fora
Read More
By Igor Bonifacic
April 28th, 2014
Industry Movers and Starters: Richard Liang of Preo
Read More
By Igor Bonifacic
April 22nd, 2014
Uncategorized Test post
Read More
By Igor Bonifacic
April 8th, 2014
Editors Pick Pop-up Startup
Read More
  • No article found.
  • By TS Editors
    March 10th, 2014
    Culture Revolutionizing the Beer Drinking Experience with the Sam Can (Sponsored)
    Read More
    By Jordan Sowunmi
    December 27th, 2013
    The Sprawl DO MAKE SAY HEAR: Five Things to Do in The City This Weekend
    Read More
    By Jordan Sowunmi
    December 26th, 2013
    The Sprawl Over 50,000 Torontonians Still Sitting in the Dark
    Read More
    By Jordan Sowunmi
    December 20th, 2013
    The Sprawl Supreme Court of Canada Deems Prostitution Laws Unconstitutional
    Read More


    Society Snaps: Eric S. Margolis Foundation Launch

    Kristin Davis moved Toronto's philanthroists to tears ... then sent them all home with a baby elephant - Read More