A California paranormal group is claiming that it has DNA samples of Bigfoot. The catch, of course, is that the group requires public donations to be able to authenticate the creature’s identity. Let’s raise that money, folks! Sure, all previous DNA tests have failed to produce Bigfoot, but this time will be different. We just know it.
Meanwhile, Canadians may not have a lot to be proud of internationally these days, but apparently we’re still world leaders in one field. A UN report on drugs concludes that Canada is one of the world’s leading exporters of ecstasy and meth. Go, Canada!
Conrad Black will find out today if he’s going back to jail. Black will be sentenced on the two charges he still faces; he could either be sent back to jail or released for time served. Another example why we need to tighten up the justice system. Do we really want to live in a world where hardened criminals like Lord Black are allowed to freely walk the streets?
Brampton’s Tristan Thompson was selected fourth in the National Basketball Association’s entry draft last night, becoming the highest Canadian draft pick in 50 years. The Raptors, meanwhile, selecting fifth, took a 6-foot-11 Lithuanian, who won’t be able to join the team for at least a year. Most Canadians, of course, ignored the proceedings, preferring to concentrate on today’s NHL draft.
Parliament remains in an extended all-night session as the NDP tries everything it can to delay the passage of the government’s back-to-work legislation to settle the Canada Post dispute. NDP leader Jack Layton says the legislation harms workers. Canadians just rejoice in the fact that members of parliament have been forced to extend this arduous two-week session of parliament before their summer break.
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IDLER
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LOCAL
The GTA briefly becomes the glamour capital of the world as Bollywood stars descend for the International Indian Film Academy awards kick-off. The three-day festival continues over the weekend. Now bear in mind that Pride also kicked off yesterday, so it may be hard to keep the various colourfully costumed, singing, dancing crowds filling the streets straight, so to speak. Bollywood dance-off, anybody?
Remember Officer Bubbles, the Toronto police officer who threatened to arrest a woman at the G20 protests for blowing bubbles? The woman, who was arrested on a different charge — later dismissed — is now suing Toronto police for false arrest.
A Catholic school board trustee has apologized after attacking illegal immigrants in an e-mail and threatening to turn over a student whose parents are undocumented immigrants to the RCMP. Ontario school boards are actually required by law to accept such students. The board voted not to censure the trustee, thus teaching students a valuable lesson about how to get away with bullying and intolerance.
And the Toronto District School Board has decided to completely ban pop in its schools in favour of fruit juice, vegetable cocktail, bottled water and white and chocolate milk. Do they seriously expect students to get through the day without sugar or caffeine fixes? Hey, remember all that meth we’re shipping abroad? Maybe we should keep some of it for our own schools. Kidding!
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THE LAST
A 99-year-old veteran of WWII and life-long bachelor has gotten married for the first time. The man says he just hadn’t met the right woman until now. I feel a lot better now about being single. Obviously, there’s still plenty of time for me to meet somebody.
An Australian soccer player was kicked out of a game for failing to remove a piercing from his penis. The piercing came to light when the player got the ball in the groin and dropped his shorts to check on the body modification. No word on whether soccer refs will now be required to check all players’ penises before each game. And exactly how easy is to remove a penis piercing anyway?