image: Advanced Style
2012 saw the return of the severe, conservative look. Phoebe Philo brought back minimalism and had us buying camel coats in droves. The Olsen twin’s line of luxe basics, The Row, focused on tuxedo pants and flat sandals. Raf Simon’s swan song collection at the always-structured Jil Sander was one of the most lauded shows of the F/W 2012 season. Fashion was telling us that it’s okay to grow up a bit, shed the trappings of youth. Put on an outfit that is – dare I say it – ladylike.
No one does ladylike better than the fashion archetype of the Rich Grandma. Every time I walk down the street, I notice the best outfits are worn by little old ladies. They are always traipsing around in luxurious furs and suspiciously comfortable-looking shoes, looking wacky and adorable at the same time – probably because they’ve been around the block and have learned not give a damn about what anyone thinks. I’m not the only one who thinks rich old ladies have the best style either, judging by the popularity of Ari Seth Cohen’s Advanced Style blog, which chronicles the flamboyant outfits of wacky geriatric New Yorkers and is set to release a documentary some time in the unspecified future.
But it’s not just the bizarro grandmas whose style I admire. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the Republican First Lady look; a string of pearls, paired with cat-eye glasses, a fur coat and more gold and diamond rings than there are days of the week. Rich Grandma is almost an anti-fashion look, because it never changes: always a two-piece suit and a sturdy handbag. Matching suits are a wardrobe staple that make the Rich Grandma look impeccable without actually having to match clothing together. After all, dressing is a bore for the Rich Grandma, who is far too busy dreaming up her next philanthropy dinner to bother with picking out outfits. Queen Elizabeth II (the ultimate Rich Grandma style icon) essentially owns the same outfit replicated in 400 different colours, and nobody bats an eyelash or puts her on worst-dressed lists, because always she looks so put together.
Rich Grandmas must carry a real handbag, none of this canvas tote bag bullshit. The handbag must be made out of an animal hide, preferably something exotic and potentially illegal like turtle shells or the skin of a King Cobra. If you look in the mirror and see an outfit that remotely resembles Lucille Bluth, then you’ve got Rich Grandma down to a science.
The trick to dressing like a Rich Grandma (presuming that you, the reader, is neither rich nor a Grandma) is going to the thrift store and picking out the items that would have originally retailed for an extremely dear price, from a really swank upscale department store like Saks Fifth Avenue or Holt Renfrew. The beige suit I’m wearing is Comrags, a local Toronto designer, which I picked up from the thrift store for $35. Of course, thrift stores can be hit or miss. If you don’t magically happen to stumble upon the perfect Marni tweed pencil skirt moldering away on the racks for $4, keep an eye out for heavy natural materials like wool, or anything that is inordinately soft, like cashmere, merino wool, fur.
The most important element of the Rich Grandma look is a sense of humour. Part of the reason why fashion is so fun is because it allows you to try on different identities, and take traditional sartorial conformities and twist them on their head. I would rather dress like Nancy Reagan, than wear someone else’s clothes. Why not spit in the face of “age-appropriateness,” and dress fifty years above your age?
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Isabel Slone is a Toronto-based fashion blogger and writer. Follow her on Twitter at @isabelslone.
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