When I told my boyfriend I was going to glitter my hoo ha and post photos of it on the internet… he judged me. I can’t blame him; I once made statements like “Keep your Swarovski accessories above the neckline; no one wants to go down on the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree” and “Men have enough trouble finding their way around a vulva without a clusterfuck of glistening stupidity staring them back in the face” in a damning condemnation of the vajazzling trend.
My excuse is that I did it for Pride Week– if there’s ever a time to turn your nether regions glam in the sparkliest sense of the word, this is it.
So I went to Fuzz Wax Bar to get a Brazilian wax and a glittery gay pride flag adhered to my vagina. I’ve had my share of Brazilians, and trust me, this is where you want to go for one. I’ve been places where I was left spreading and downward dogging it until I was red in the face, but Fuzz gets you in and out in less than 20 minutes. Their staff are super friendly and non-judgy (I sweat like Rob Ford in a sauna when I get waxed and my pro didn’t think twice about it), and it hurts less because they use hard wax.
The vajazzling itself took about another 10 minutes. My waxer painted strips of adhesive on my body, carefully piled glitter on top, and shaped the edges to get it just right while I relaxed pantless on the table and let my sweat seep back into me. Apparently my little piece of art will last at least four days and wash off painlessly in the shower. And I have to admit I think it’s kind of… pretty. In, you know, a once-a-year sort of way.
If you want one of your own (admit it, you’re curious), Fuzz has a special Pride Week promotion to let your freak flag fly on the cheap. Here’s the deal: they’ll offer 15% off any waxing service at Fuzz during Pride Week, from Friday, June 22 to Sunday, July 1. PLUS anyone who purchases a treatment can get a free ‘Gems & Glitter’ service for a pride flag on any part of their body. Book now to avoid disappointment and lack of glitter.
Sabrina Maddeaux is Toronto Standard’s style editor. Follow her on Twitter at @sabrinamaddeaux.