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September 12, 2014
Update: It’s official, Rob Ford has dropped out of the mayoral race.
U of T brings back David Gilmour
Following the discovery of his tumor, Rob Ford has been moved to Mount Sinai Hospital
Wild Turkey Runs Naked Through Scarborough
He wasn't even wearing a coat or trying to enter a hotel!

via @McAllister_Mark

A wild turkey stunned an entire city today when he ran through the streets of Scarborough without wearing any clothes. It’s not clear what caused the turkey to disrobe, but at press time Toronto Standard is speculating that the not-quite-flightless bird was denied entry to a hotel for some reason and then, when his car wouldn’t start, he removed his shearling coat and proceeded to run naked on the sidewalk at speeds of up to 25 mph (potentially). Police plan to place the turkey under arrest just as soon as they can convince him to cover up his wattle.

But seriously, a turkey was wandering around in Scarborough and it was on the news.

via @McAllister_Mark via @stephaniesmyth

____

Michael Kolberg is The Sprawl Editor at Toronto Standard. Follow him on Twitter for jokes @mikeykolberg.

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