October 26, 2014
October 24, 2014
UberX is offering Torontonians a free ride to and from polling stations this Monday
U of T Alumni keep you warm with the world’s first smart heated base layer
The North American house hippo lives on in a line of adorable t-shirts
October 23, 2014
Torontonians can catch a partial solar eclipse this evening
Doug Ford said a bunch of questionable things last night
Jane Eyre, Sherlock Holmes To Get Mommy Porn Makeover
"Reader, I f*cked him"

THIS is why we can’t have nice things. Women go crazy for one erotic novel (I’m referring to 50 Shades of Grey, in case your gentials have been under a rock for the last few months), and now all our favourite literary classics are getting mommy porn makeovers. Publisher Clandestine Classics will rework beloved books like Jane Eyre, Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey, and Sherlock Holmes into erotic, Grey-esque tales.

Original fans of Jane Eyre might be unhappy to discover that the female protagonist has “explosive sex with Mr Rochester” in the publisher’s erotic edition. In Wuthering Heights, heroine Catherine Earnshaw “enjoys bondage sessions” with Heathcliff, while sleuth Sherlock Holmes has a sexual relationship with his sidekick Dr. Watson in the new e-book.

The publisher says the books, which will be released starting June 30, will introduce the classics to “a whole new generation of readers.” Because no one can read anything anymore that doesn’t inspire instant orgasms. God help us.   [The Independent]

____

For more, follow us on Twitter @TorontoStandard and subscribe to our newsletter.

  • TOP STORIES
  • MOST COMMENTED
  • RECENT
By Igor Bonifacic
October 22nd, 2014
Editors Pick The El Mocambo's iconic neon sign finds its way onto eBay
Read More
By Igor Bonifacic
October 22nd, 2014
Editors Pick John Tory carries significant lead in Forum's latest poll
Read More
By Igor Bonifacic
October 2nd, 2014
Editors Pick Watch: the recently released Pan Am Games "Invade" trailer
Read More
By Igor Bonifacic
September 26th, 2014
Editors Pick John Tory and Doug Ford may have joined Ello
Read More
  • No article found.
  • By Igor Bonifacic
    October 24th, 2014
    Editors Pick UberX is offering Torontonians a free ride to and from polling stations this Monday
    Read More
    By JJ Wong
    October 24th, 2014
    Editors Pick U of T Alumni keep you warm with the world's first smart heated base layer
    Read More
    By Igor Bonifacic
    October 24th, 2014
    Editors Pick The North American house hippo lives on in a line of adorable t-shirts
    Read More
    By Igor Bonifacic
    October 23rd, 2014
    Editors Pick Torontonians can catch a partial solar eclipse this evening
    Read More

    SOCIETY SNAPS

    Society Snaps: Eric S. Margolis Foundation Launch

    Kristin Davis moved Toronto's philanthroists to tears ... then sent them all home with a baby elephant - Read More