October 26, 2014
October 24, 2014
UberX is offering Torontonians a free ride to and from polling stations this Monday
U of T Alumni keep you warm with the world’s first smart heated base layer
The North American house hippo lives on in a line of adorable t-shirts
October 23, 2014
Torontonians can catch a partial solar eclipse this evening
Doug Ford said a bunch of questionable things last night
Best Thing on the Internet Today: Portraits of the Miss Americas of Yore
I feel pretty, oh so pretty

If Miss America were a ghost, she’d be an ectoplasmic mist.

If Miss America were an animal, she’d be an albino peacock

If Miss America were a piece of technology, she’d be the Windows Phone 7.

If Miss America were an exercise, she’d be Zumba

If Miss America were a cheese, she’d be boursin

If Miss America were a colour, she’d be Palest Pistachio

If Miss America were an infection, she’d be a UTI

If Miss America were a shoe store, she’d be Browns

If Miss America were a Halloween costume, she’d be a sexy bee

If Miss America were a Mad Men character, she’d be Betty. Duh.

If Miss America were my mother, I’d probably have a lot of issues.

[Covers from the Miss America pageants - via These Americans]

—–
‚ĶJessica Carroll is the Toronto Standard’s “Best Thing on the Internet Today” columnist. Follow her on Twitter at @jssckr.

For more, follow us on Twitter at @torontostandardand subscribe to our newsletter

 

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