August 22, 2014
August 21, 2014
Do Make Say Think, August 22-24
August 20, 2014
Watch the TTC detail new streetcar features
Toronto ranked the 4th most liveable city, according to annual poll
New report says Ontario should end LCBO and Beer Store monopolies
August 19, 2014
Toronto is Forbes’ 10th most influential city of 2014
Best Thing on the Internet Today: Portraits of the Miss Americas of Yore
I feel pretty, oh so pretty

If Miss America were a ghost, she’d be an ectoplasmic mist.

If Miss America were an animal, she’d be an albino peacock

If Miss America were a piece of technology, she’d be the Windows Phone 7.

If Miss America were an exercise, she’d be Zumba

If Miss America were a cheese, she’d be boursin

If Miss America were a colour, she’d be Palest Pistachio

If Miss America were an infection, she’d be a UTI

If Miss America were a shoe store, she’d be Browns

If Miss America were a Halloween costume, she’d be a sexy bee

If Miss America were a Mad Men character, she’d be Betty. Duh.

If Miss America were my mother, I’d probably have a lot of issues.

[Covers from the Miss America pageants - via These Americans]

—–
‚ĶJessica Carroll is the Toronto Standard’s “Best Thing on the Internet Today” columnist. Follow her on Twitter at @jssckr.

For more, follow us on Twitter at @torontostandardand subscribe to our newsletter

 

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