Move over, Sully Sullenberger! There’s a new face of American heroism and his name is Kai. Kai (no last name given) is a homeless hitchhiker living one version of the American dream, criss-crossing the country looking for the next big wave. He’s not sure how old he is and as far as his family in West Viriginia is concerned, he’s presumed dead. But make no mistake: Kai is a hero. When faced with extraordinary cirsumstances, Kai rose to the occasion to save a woman’s life by smashing a crazy guy in the head with a hatchet.

I won’t give away too many of the details, because so much of the pleasure of this clip is hearing Kai eloquently tell his tale in his own words, but suffice it to say, this man is an example for us all. Undoubtedly, Kai has already disappeared deep into America, never again to surface on the likes of the Today Show or Anderson. But his story will live on through this YouTube clip, and we should treasure it like the tomes of old and share the story of Kai with our children, so that they might post it to their Tumblrs, and their children might reblog it. May you find what you’re looking for, Kai. Thank you for your service.

Correction: The sub-headline of this article previously said that the “crazed attacked” was killed, but that was incorrect. He survived and is now in jail. This was perhaps wishful thinking on the part of the author.

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Michael Kolberg is The Sprawl Editor at Toronto Standard. Follow him on Twitter for jokes @mikeykolberg.

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