September 3, 2014
September 2, 2014
DFA 1979 is going to celebrate their new album by giving you a free tattoo
Someone tried and failed to ride the back bumper of a TTC bus
Toronto-based Sockzi wants to make everyone a socks fan
Iconic dance venue Andy Poolhall set to close
August 29, 2014
Toronto may be getting a new Waterfront LRT line
Best Thing on the Internet Today: Animals in the Don River
There are secrets in the evil Don River that will you make you happy

The Don River: how thy bushes gleam, how thy concrete embarkments sheen, how thy graffiti’d bridges scream. It has every facet of wonder that a city could ever wish for. Garabge? Mmmhmm. Putrid stench? Yep. Murky, brown colour? Yeah-huh. Dead bodies? This is the biggest city in Canada — probably. Okay, well it does have a really great bike path; I’ll give it that. I like it there (in passing). 

But animals dig those digs for habitation, according to video evidence from YouTube. There’s a whole bunch of animals who’ve been spotted chilling in the Don: 

Beavers! 

Pacific Chinook Salmon!

Black-Crowned Night Herons! 

A mysterious oily substance! (Sorry, I had to.)

Still, we’re on the right track. It’s incredible to consider that I could wander in with my hipwaders (HOT!) and go grab a salmon from the Don. And maybe eat it. If it weren’t radioactive.

Why not help save the Don River, because I have a dream about becoming a fly fisherwoman, but I’m not moving up north, and I desperately want to feel some goddamn urban clarity. Do it for me, brah. 

—–
…Jessica Carroll is the Toronto Standard’s “Best Thing on the Internet Today” columnist. Follow her on Twitter at @jssckr.

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