September 3, 2014
September 2, 2014
DFA 1979 is going to celebrate their new album by giving you a free tattoo
Someone tried and failed to ride the back bumper of a TTC bus
Toronto-based Sockzi wants to make everyone a socks fan
Iconic dance venue Andy Poolhall set to close
August 29, 2014
Toronto may be getting a new Waterfront LRT line
Best Thing on the Internet: Wasted Girl Hooks Up With Tree
But I swear it wasn't me

The Gawker headline on this video is: “Unbelievably Wasted Girl Tries to Have Sex With Tree After Getting in Fight With It”

Yep, that’s exactly what the video’s of. This girl is dirty grinding and making out with a tree at this past weekend’s Ultra Festival in Miami. I wasn’t really sure if she was seriously really messed up, or if she was just putting on a performance until her embarrassed friends find her and usher her quickly away from the growing group of people filming her with their camera phones.

I’m not sure whether to be freaked out, mortified or amused. Well, probs all three at once. What have we learned, children? Don’t get fucked up on mushrooms in the middle of the day and go to a music festival. Oh wait, that sounds amazing. Peace. 

[via Gawker]

____

Jessica Carroll is the Toronto Standard’s “Best Thing on the Internet Today” columnist. Follow her on Twitter at @jssckr.

For more, follow us on Twitter at @torontostandard, and subscribe to our newsletter.

 

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