October 30, 2014
October 29, 2014
Marvel marks National Cat Day with a series of cats dressed up as its iconic superheroes
Doug Ford is likely going to be fined $11,950 for all the illegal signs his campaign planted
Doug Ford is deciding whether he wants to be the leader of Ontario’s Conservative Party.
October 28, 2014
The CBC will be the lead Canadian broadcaster for the 2018, 2020 Olympics
John Tory invites former election rivals to join his administration
Best Thing on the Internet: Wasted Girl Hooks Up With Tree
But I swear it wasn't me

The Gawker headline on this video is: “Unbelievably Wasted Girl Tries to Have Sex With Tree After Getting in Fight With It”

Yep, that’s exactly what the video’s of. This girl is dirty grinding and making out with a tree at this past weekend’s Ultra Festival in Miami. I wasn’t really sure if she was seriously really messed up, or if she was just putting on a performance until her embarrassed friends find her and usher her quickly away from the growing group of people filming her with their camera phones.

I’m not sure whether to be freaked out, mortified or amused. Well, probs all three at once. What have we learned, children? Don’t get fucked up on mushrooms in the middle of the day and go to a music festival. Oh wait, that sounds amazing. Peace. 

[via Gawker]

____

Jessica Carroll is the Toronto Standard’s “Best Thing on the Internet Today” columnist. Follow her on Twitter at @jssckr.

For more, follow us on Twitter at @torontostandard, and subscribe to our newsletter.

 

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