Rumours suck. In high school, someone spread a rumour once that there was going to be a party at my house. I was arguably the most unpopular, and some asshole put posters all over the school with promises of a keg and other party things. Even my favourite math teacher got in on the joke. The party was scheduled for, if I remember correctly, a Wednesday, and everyone was planning to attend. In retrospect, it wasn’t that clever a rumour, but I guess I should have put on my finest heels and served the poster-maker with summons papers. Just like my hero Gregory Gorgeous.
GG asks Arta for lunch after she sent him a text saying she knows his secret. He thought she knew about his impending maybe-nuptials, but she tells him she knows about the sugar daddy rumours that are spreading like my last Plague Inc disaster–rumours he knew nothing about–and she thinks the situation is hilarious. And how dare she find humour in such a serious, serious rumour. Someone thinking you have a sugar daddy is probably the worst rumour in the world–it is crippling. It is definitely not something that can be shrugged off. And if it weren’t for level-headed life partners Jay and pod-person witch next door Shannon, Gregory wouldn’t be as calm as he is, and he wouldn’t be suing Arta for libel.
I am not a lawyer, but I have a feeling that this is the most bogus you-just-got-served-girl moment, since Gregory hand delivers legal documents to Arta that he’s put in an envelope that’s sealed with a lipstick kiss. Unless his lawyer is from Miss Thing and Associates, I’d say this is another example of Avenue fakery. I also have a hard time understanding why this is such an awful rumour, because yeah, sure, he wants to be seen as independent, but barely anyone outside of me and gay men who do haul videos for recent MAC cosmetics purchases know who he is, so this doomsday daddy scenario is hardly viral. And it isn’t like Carina is spreading the rumour that he murdered season 1’s Jessica, and that’s why she didn’t come back for season 2 (also not true, because Jessica was just not a good actress).
At the end of the day, Jay is the real loser, and he’s the reason this is all going down. Even if he says he doesn’t want to be out, he’s out. He’s on a reality show, and he sort-of proposes on Yonge Street, busily trafficked by rub and tug frequenters and other major city influencers. I think everyone should come out in their own time, but in this case, the great outing happened in episode 1, so dude just needs to stand by his man and make a YouTube video telling everyone that he’s here, he’s queer, and actually, Gregory’s sugar daddy is paying for the two of them.
Oh, and don’t worry, the whole Greg and Rachel feud continues to drag. Greg deletes Rachel from his Facebook. Social suicide.
Kevin Naulls is a Toronto-based writer and former editor of The Goods and The Hype at Torontolife.com. Follow him on Twitter @kevinjn.