October 24, 2014
October 24, 2014
UberX is offering Torontonians a free ride to and from polling stations this Monday
U of T Alumni keep you warm with the world’s first smart heated base layer
The North American house hippo lives on in a line of adorable t-shirts
October 23, 2014
Torontonians can catch a partial solar eclipse this evening
Doug Ford said a bunch of questionable things last night
Postcards: Hidden Towers/Godspeed You! Black Emperor/Kid Koala/Ladyhawk/Purity Ring
Natalie Zina Walschots reviews records that defy traditional analysis in postcard-length poems

Hidden Towers — Olympus Mons

Experts wonder, is there a Truth Embargo on scientific analysis of these Mars photos. Obvious signs of a civilization though the outer compound not appears deserted. Probably designed to accommodate a very tiny species of individuals. The so-called magnetic bacteria.  It must have blasted off a billion years ago, only to land in Antarctica, with high chemical purity and residue. New discoveries of ancient seas and rivers have strengthened the evidence. The heart of the mountain.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor — Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend!

A mournful lilt, tear-drop shaped, suddenly gathers into a whoop. It’s cries are specific enough to not only serve as a warning, but to signify number, size, speed, and even identifying characteristics. The primary syllable is often awkward, but combines with rattles, coos, clear notes.  They range long distances, but are restricted in their travels to parts of the world where powerful air thermals are present. The throat acts like a resonator; the sound has been likened to machine gun fire. The fallacy that it is silent its whole life, only to deliver one perfect, beautiful song before it died.

Kid Koala — 12 Bit Blues

(a found poem)

Make sure you are Big Mario and try to jump over Bowser or run under him. Stand near the Axe and Bowser will start to walk towards you. As he gets near you, jump high, and touch Bowser and the Axe at the same time. If you do it correctly, you will hear the sound as if you were to shrink, but you will just flash and stay as Big Mario. Go to the next stage, and get a Mushroom. (Yes, there will be a Mushroom instead of a Fire Flower.) When you touch the Mushroom, you will shrink. Then get a Fire Flower, and you’ll have Fire Power as Small Mario. (Note: after you do the Bowser/Axe trick, enemies that touch you will be able to kill you when you are Big Mario. When they touch you while you are Small Mario after getting the Mushroom or Fire Flower, you will turn back into Big Mario.)

Ladyhawk — No Can Do

A bedazzled vagabond. Hospitals have seen an upswing in these kinds of injuries, especially in emergency room admissions. Everything from misplaced sequins to cuts and abrasions. Vague jazz. Just don’t put the rhinestones right on your labia.

Purity Ring — Shrines

Classic or whimsical, all of them flutter. Glitter-encrusted, beaded or foiled finishes. A refreshing verdant gaze. Not all extensions are the same! Elf mineral, or fine mink. But which are appropriate for daytime? Do not wear when showering, swimming or sleeping. Where are your keraspecific fibres. Anywhere from thirty to eighty lashes. Beware of drugstore knockoffs. For a professionally applied look, show your charm. Lure.

____

Natalie Zina Walschots is a poet and music writer based in Toronto, Ontario. Her second book of poetry, DOOM: Love Poems for Supervillains, was published by Insomniac Press this spring. You can follow her on Twitter at @NatalieZed.

For more, follow us on Twitter at @torontostandard, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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