Poems about the modern world, by Lauren Bride.

If Tom Ford was the mayor,
Think of what he’d do!
He’d start with revamping City Hall,
While contemplating shoes.

Tom Ford may want ovations, yes,
And not give photos to the press,
But the transit question would be more like
“More chrome here? Or a little less?”

He’d invite his constituents
To share his Milanese villa.
And douse the stench bloomed from our lake
In his own Tobacco Vanille.

School children would enjoy at lunch,
Petit camembert and caviar,
Sip champagne smart, at recess time,
Not mussing their duds to spar.

If it were Tom, the libraries
Would be then newly stocked
With deluxe editions bound in python –
With baubles you unlocked.

He could cut his samples for his frocks
With his favourite pair of shears
Alternating snips, you know, for
Ceremonial ribbons, met with cheers.

Tom could cover potholes,
With swathes of patent leather.
He’d adjourn the meeting, and sign the bill
With a quill of tasteful feather.

How do we woo Tom Ford?
Just add him to the ballot?
Slip a tiny message
In his caramelized shallot?

If Tom Ford were the mayor, ah,
Now there’s a thought to think.
Until that day, we can dream of it,
To keep us in the pink. 

____

Lauren Bride is a writer, among other things.

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